Touching. It’s a touchy subject. When to do it, when not to do it and how to do it. Appropriate touching is a good thing and can make us feel closer to a person and some studies even suggest that women find ‘light tactile touching’ (LTT) attractive as it shows male assertion. It’s always wise to tread carefully when invading someone’s personal space, however.
But what if you are a touchy feely sort of guy and not in a creepy way? What are the rules when it comes to touching on a date? Well, we don’t recommend you over think it too much, we’re sure you’re a pretty good judge of character, but here are some good pointers:
It’s easier if she touches me first, right? Yes. But nobody, nobody can predict what a female may or may not do on a date. It’s why we love the opposite sex. Don’t repeat this but there are a few tricks you can use to increase the chances of her wanting to touch you…we can’t promise she’ll take the bait but here goes. Smell really nice, body, hair, breath. Wear something unusual and textured, a quirky jewellery item for example, cool hairstyle, show a subtle tattoo, something that might make her feel compelled to touch it. Lean close when you are talking and speak quietly at certain points. This naturally makes the other person lean in closer to you. Do not ask her to touch ‘the guns’ and do share these tricks with any members of the fairer sex or our cover is blown.
First date: You can quickly gauge if your date is a touchy feely by how she greets you for the first time. A good tip is to extend a hand which most dates will feel obliged to take and then go in for the quick hug and air-kiss. Did she seem OK with the physical contact (we’ll call it PC) OK, good so far. If however she looks unsure or freezes, it means she probably feels slightly awkward about the PC. If she refuses to take your hand point blank, abort the hug idea! And good luck with that one, you’ve got Cersei from Game of Thrones…
During the date: Again, you’ll know in a matter of minutes if there’s chemistry. Is she flirting? Touching her hair, has a twinkle in the eye? Smiley and receptive to your witterings? Don’t presume however, she up for PC yet. It also can depend on where you are and what you’re doing on your date. Making a sudden grab for her hand across the dinner table for example, might freak her out but if you genuinely feel she’d be OK with a little PC, you can try one of those LLT’s we touched on earlier…
Best moments to LLT: It’s got to be on a high point, ie: you crack a joke and you’re both busting a gut laughing. You could also go for the, ‘that’s a lovely bracelet’ compliment as you lightly take her wrist – not too tightly….and release. If you’re crossing a busy road, gently and protectively hold her arm. Try not to forcibly frogmarch her across the road though. And don’t offer to assist with removing things from her person just to touch her, it may embarrass her: an overdose of blusher, a crumb in her cleavage, a stray bogie, and don’t suddenly start stroking her face because they do it in movies. It will freak her out – she’s not a Golden Retriever. Lightly touch her arm or hand. Don’t linger, we’re talking just a few seconds. Did she wince? Pull away? No? Ok. Next stage.
Next stage: So the date is going really well, non? She’s laughing at your jokes, she doesn’t mind you reinforcing the shocking bits to your story with LLT and frankly you’re both cracking the air with sexual tension. If she’s touched you right back then she showing you she’s comfortable that you’ve entered her personal space and is open to entering yours. Don’t blow it now by thinking you can venture into the intimate zones (boobs and bum) Girls hate that. It’s unoriginal. But with all this touchy feely stuff going on, it’s looking good for a goodnight snog. If she wants to go even further…er, we’ll let you two get a room but here are a few non-obvious places she likes to be touched…
- Tracing your finger around the palm of her hand
- Lightly kiss the nape of her neck
- Massaging her feet with some foot cream/massage oil, toes, ankles and sides of the feet too
- Playing with her hair, massaging her temples lightly then working around to the nape of her neck..
- Touching, kissing and lightly nibbling her neck, even the ear lobes
- Lightly kissing the back of her knees. Yep. Trust us.
Are there any bits we didn’t touch on? Tell us @Lovestruck.
Enjoy this blog? You may also like: Love is…better sex, actually.
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