Moving in with someone is one of the most major milestones in any relationship. You may be dreaming of nightly dinners, potential wedding bells and cosying up on the sofa but the reality is far less glamorous – think dirty towels, arguments over who last did the washing up and duvet hogging. So how do you know when the time is right? Here are our top signs:
1. You know it’s a big decision: If you understand that this is a big deal that will have a massive impact on your life and relationship, this is a good thing. Drifting into living with someone when you don’t feel nerves or haven’t given it serious thought is a very bad idea.
2. You’ve got over a major argument and survived: Our ability to resolve arguments with our partners in a constructive way is a major indicator or how well the relationship will fare over time. If you’ve already had one major argument and survived then you are ready to live together.
3. It’s your decision alone: Many of us feel under pressure to ramp our relationships up a gear – be it from family, friends or your partner – but unless it is your decision and it feels right to you, then the timing is wrong. If your partner is putting you under pressure, compromise and say you will talk about it properly again in six months or a year.
4. You’ve defined your relationship: If you’ve had the ‘where is this going?’ chat then you’re likely to be on the same page when it comes to what you want and expect to happen in the future. Being able to communicate at this fundamental level is very important.
5. You practically live together anyway: Do you spend most nights at each other’s houses? This is a good sign because it gives you a sense of what it is like to live together.
6. You’ve been away together and enjoyed it: While holidays certainly aren’t reality they do mean you will have intensive time together, almost like living together, where you make joint decisions about what to do, where to eat and so forth. If you haven’t been away together, definitely book a holiday and see how it goes because you won’t necessarily know your partner’s habits (good and not so good!).
7. It’s not about money: If you’re moving to save money on rent and bills, then think twice. Yes, your bills will be less but the decision must not factor-in money.
8. You don’t brush over issues: If you have problems in a relationship that are not discussed, once you live together, they will become far bigger. Do the same issues come up time and time again? If they do, you need to work on them before you think about sharing living space.
9. The honeymoon phase is over: We all go through the honeymoon phase, where we can’t get enough of each other but deciding to make a moving-in decision when you are in the early stages of a romance is far from wise.
What are other good signs? Tell us what you think @lovestruck
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