“No, I’ve not received your sext so why don’t you come on over and show me in person?”
Sexting seems to be getting a pretty bad rap at the moment. While the combination of sex and technology has many advantages, such as spicing up your relationship, keeping in touch when you’re apart and leaving your partner wanting more. But it can also end in disaster, with leaked pictures, relaxed privacy settings and dodgy exes all too apparent and filling the headlines at the moment…
It can be damaging to our health early on in a relationship too according to a recent study which suggests that digitally over-sharing such intimate information can affect our nervous system and create inner stress. This is apparently because our brains miss the ‘healthy’ cues that face to face contact allows us. Take away eye contact, body language and the ability to hear voice tones can make us date more aggressively and competitively. Some would argue it even make us less compassionate in a relationship.
So! If you must sext, here is our guide to what’s hot and what’s not:
DON’T:
Sext too soon: You have to make sure you fully trust and know the person you are sexting before sending any sexy pics. If you’re unsure in any way at all, then just don’t do it! Always keep in mind these images can very easily be shared with mates and er..the rest of us too…
Sext before having sex: While you may think this will build the excitement, it could have the opposite effect and kill the curiosity your partner has about the moment. Don’t do anything that you haven’t done in person. Remember the good old fashioned reaching first, second, third etc base? Make sexting the 5th.
Drink and sext: Much like drinking and texting or drunk dialling, this is a very bad idea. Hide your phone from yourself or give it to a friend for safe-keeping if you can’t trust yourself.
Use it as a substitute for the real thing: Some people have said they have found sexting addictive. However, it’s important not to use it all the time or as a substitute for real sex. Make sure you create a healthy balance and only use sexting to enhance a relationship.
DO:
Tap into your fantasies: This is an opportunity to say the things you want, but you’re not brave enough to say in person. Use sexting as an opportunity for your imagination to run wild!
Build up anticipation: Be a tease and build up anticipation. This is the virtual version of foreplay!
Cover your tracks: When you’re done with sexting, make sure you delete your conversation. There’s also an App that you can download that can file away all your naughty conversations under virtual lock and key.
Ditch anyone who happily receives intimate imagery of you but avoids sending any of themselves or..avoids meeting you as a person. Yeah you remember, you’re that lovely PERSON…
Use it well: Sexting is great if you and your partner are apart for a while or you are on a night out with friends. It can also help to keep the spark burning and used well – it can work wonders.
Make sure you’re both happy: Like live sex, there should be plenty of give and take. Make sure you are both comfortable with the idea before you start.
Be extra careful: It’s doesn’t matter how much you trust the person – always proceed with caution and never send a picture that can be instantly identified as you.. a distinctive birth mark, for example. Always err on the side of caution and keep in mind that someone else might see it you at some point.
Are you a fan of sexting or strongly against? Tell us @lovestruck
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