Does it feel like your relationship is stuck in the metaphorical slow lane? Have you failed to spot the red flags along the way?
A friend of mine, let’s call her Suzy, has been dating Jimmy for over three years. She’s in her early 30s and is desperate to settle down and has gone from fun and bubbly to seeming miserable and withdrawn.
Sometimes people stay together for comforts sake.
When I ask her why she hasn’t finished the relationship, she says she’s waiting for the ‘right moment’, or for ‘things to pick up.’
Are you in a rut? Here’s how to tell if it’s time to take your toothbrush and run…
You never talk about the future
OK, your partner doesn’t need to plan a Caribbean holiday for next year complete with a detailed itinerary but equally, if you’ve been dating for a few months or longer, setting aside a weekend or night away isn’t an unreasonable request.
They tell you they’re not the ‘marrying kind’
Hmmm. You must’ve heard this one a million times. The guy or girl who isn’t up for walking down the aisle, yet two years later is shacked up with her new partner, with a ring on one hand and nappies in the other? They just don’t want to marry ‘you’ (sorry).
You keep people in the wings
We all have those people on the back-burner in case it goes wrong. If you find you are calling these people more often than you should, you need to ask yourself if your relationship is making you happy.
Your sex life has gone off the boil
There are lots of reasons why sex is sometimes put on the back-burner but if you feel more like friends and spend every night in oversized onesies throwing peanuts at each other, you’re definitely in ‘mates’ territory.
You both act like you’re single
On a night out with friends, if someone chats you up, you happily flirt back and fail to mention your partner. It may seem like we’re stating the obvious here, but if this is the case then something’s not right.
You feel like you’re settling
Once the honeymoon period and the initial flurry of lust settles down, you may find your feelings deepen, or alternatively the things you loved in the beginning are starting to drive you crazy and you wonder if someone better might be around the corner. Ask yourself if you want to be with this person in 20 years time.
You do all your communicating online
While texts, Facebook and Twitter are great when you’re leading a busy life to drill down the finer details, if you and your other half never talk properly, you probably never discuss the big stuff, like your hopes and dreams for the future. Maybe it’s time to #breakup #now
Is this you? Good luck making the decision. Have you ever been stuck in a relationship rut? Tell us @lovestruck
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