So you’re happily enjoying a new relationship when suddenly your date suggests that you meet the parents this Christmas. Yay! This is a good sign, trust us but YIKES! After the initial “they-wanna-marry-me” euphoria wears off, the horror hits. Like, what if I say something stupid and they hate me? What if offend their religion? What if I step on their favourite cat? Well, the chances of something disastrous happening are pretty slim but it never hurts to prepare yourself so here’s our quick guide to meeting the parents and surviving!
DO: Bring a small gift:
Just some basic etiquette here – if the family are having you over for dinner, it would be nice to show your gratitude by bringing something nice to contribute. Classy bottle of wine or a box of chocolates. Confirm with your partner which wine they drink and what the meal will be so you know which shade of vino to bring; white for fish, red for red meat dish etc. Excellent, this is a good start. Oh, and make an effort with what you wear and smell nice.
DON’T: Bring a killer gift
If you’re going to meet them on Christmas day, you may want to buy them added foodie treats or a gift. Double check with your partner if they have an nut allergies in which case, rethink the roasted nut nougat or, if they are vegan, you might want to rethink that slab of Gammon. Before you arrive with a ‘ chinking’ bag full of wine and liquor bottles, check if they even drink alcohol or if either parent is a recovering alcoholic. You don’t wish to be responsible for their third spell in rehab. If buying smelly candles, check if either parent is asthmatic first too. A&E over Christmas is busy enough.
DO: Be helpful
Make sure you offer to lend a hand in the kitchen, serving at the the table, clearing the table or helping with the dishes after dinner. Even if they reject your help (and we all hope they do, don’t we) the very gesture will be appreciated and it will show that you are a considerate and well mannered person and not a lazy, thoughtless slob, frankly.
DON`T: Forget your manners
So you may have a razor sharp wit, posh accent and a high flying job but don’t think that will gain you an instant ‘pass.’ Be down to earth, don’t brag, be modest and thoughtful. Don’t hog the sofa with your feet up if the mum is left with no where to sit. Don’t just talk about yourself, yes they might be asking but ask them about their lives too. Parents often like telling stories of their youth and you’ll also get to know more about your other half too and the kinda people he or she was made by…
DO: Be yourself
Honesty – is the best policy. There is no point in pretending to be someone you’re not as you may be stuck keeping up the lie for the next 40 years. If you hate sprouts don’t mention it but quietly leave them to one side. If you are a vegetarian, don’t gag if they’ve put a pig’s head as a table centre-piece. Just show gratitude for the amazing food and appreciate efforts for presentation. Don’t lie about your job if it doesn’t pay well, or say you have one when you’re in between jobs and actually have an degree in Jeremy Kyle.
DON`T: Drink too much
Funny life stories can definitely bring a sparkle to the family dinner and they helps parents build a better picture of you– but watch your alcohol consumption. The ‘truth juice’ can land you in all sorts of trouble and could lead to you sharing inappropriate information too soon. They don’t want to know how you slept with their precious off-spring on the first date or that your younger brother is doing time for aggravated assault. Avoid strong opinions on politics as this can lead to arguments and try not to complain too much about how nasty your boss is, how mean your colleagues are and how you want to punch people’s lights out on the tube. Be positive, friendly, thoughtful and helpful and you can’t go wrong. We love you already!
Image: Meet The Parents (Robert De Niro & Ben Stiller)
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