We give a warm, heart-felt welcome to guest blogger Miss Twenty-Nine, Editor of 30 Dates, a
London-based dating blog.
Following the success of her 30 Dates by 30 challenge, Miss Twenty-Nine has just begun 30 Dates Around the World but takes time out from her busy schedule to share her many pearls of dating wisdom…
IF you’re on a date with the right person, it doesn’t matter where you are. You could have met in the worst dive bar going, or signed up to the dullest guided tour, but with the right company, it can end up being the best date ever. 
But if you’re on a date with the wrong person, then the date location can make or break the date.
The reality of dating is that you rarely get it right first time.
Yes, I know people who met their partner on their first online date. But they are a minority. Like most things in life, dating involves trial and error. It’s a process.
You come to learn the deal breakers – the must have qualities you need from a partner, and a relationship. You also come to appreciate which things aren’t as important as you first thought, when you began searching online for a partner. And as a result, you can learn a great deal about yourself.
For me, that trial and error element of dating is the most exciting part.
I first began serial dating back in July. After a bad experience with a guy I met on Plenty of Fish, I was put off dating altogether. But I knew I had three months left of my twenties, and didn’t want to spend them moping. And so I set off on an impromptu challenge – 30 Blind Dates before I turned 30.
The challenge kick started my dating blog, 30 Dates, and as a result, I’ve been on more first dates in the past nine months, than most people go on in their entire lives! And if you’d asked me nine months ago to describe my ideal partner, I’d have given you a very different list of requirements to the list I’m now able to provide.
In the past nine months, I’ve learned that some of the things, which would previously have put me off about a guy are immaterial. I’ve also come to understand a couple of things, which are total deal breakers for me. Things I’d never even thought of when I first began online dating.
I’ve been on some incredible first dates. I’ve also been on some appalling ones. And one of the best lessons I learned early on, is that the date location is vital. Because that location can quite literally Save The Date!
Traditionally we think of first dates, and we picture a bar. 
It’s the perfect non-committal location. Somewhere you can meet for as little as an hour, and then acceptably leave again. However, when I began my 30 Blind Dates, a series of dates that was likely to include a high percentage of mis-matches (considering I wasn’t doing the picking!), I realised just how ‘un-me’ a pub date is.
I rarely go to the pub with just one friend. Yes, I’ll go for drinks in a group, or meet up for a pub lunch, but if I just want to chat with a friend, I’ll never simply do it over drinks. We’ll go for dinner, or to a ticketed event. We’ll make an evening of it.
When you go on a date, you’re substituting a well-known friend, for a complete stranger. A stranger who you could potentially connect well with, and end up fancying. But also, a stranger who could be really rather dull in person, and not fanciable.
Now obviously, you could just leave early. Drink your drink as quickly as you can, and run for the nearest exit. But the way I see it, that date is your leisure time. It’s your evening, or your weekend. And draining my glass as quick as I can, and high tailing it out of a bar, isn’t my idea of a fun evening, no matter who I’m with.
The other option is to think outside of the dating box.
Look around the city you live in, and think of some fun places you’d like to go. Perhaps there’s a tourist spot you’ve always wanted to check out. A show you wanted to see, or an exhibition poster you keep 
noticing on the Tube. Maybe there’s a new part of town you’d like to explore, or you keep trying to make time to go to a museum or an art gallery.
Things you’d like to do in your leisure time. Fun adventures you don’t have time for, or can’t find a friend to try out.
So why not combine the two. I said I’ve had some incredible dates. Some of those were with men I instantly connected with. But some were also with guys who I didn’t remotely fancy. What made the date was the adventure we went on together. I’ve been on dates where I jet-boated down the Thames. I’ve tried out escape rooms, been to the Zoo and the Circus, and dined in the dark. I’ve watched burlesque shows, music gigs and cabaret. I’ve climbed the roof of the O2 arena, and ridden in cable cars.
And interestingly, it wasn’t simply a case of the location carrying the entire date.
One thing I noticed, as I was walking around London Zoo, was that whilst sitting face on with someone in a bar can be quite intimidating, it’s a lot easier to get to know someone, if you’re talking side by side. Shier dates will find it easier to open up if you’re not looking directly at one another as you talk, or if there are distractions. And shared experiences can provide you with talking points, which can save the most awkward of dates.
One of the best dates I went on last summer, started with an appalling toilet tour of London. In itself the tour was awful – something neither me or my date would have normally done. But the hilarity of the situation provided a perfect talking point, and when we ducked out of the tour midway through, there was a shared sense of collusion, which only added to the success of the date.
So next time you plan a date with someone you meet on Lovestruck, don’t just opt for the stereotypical bar date option. Think outside the box, and ask yourself what date location you’d like to spend your evening in … regardless of whether the man of your dreams ends up accompanying you or not!
Miss Twenty-Nine 
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