The modern world is designed within an inch of its life. Luckily, the Bluffer’s Guide are back with some top advice for anyone dating a graphic designer…
Bad fonts (Comic Sans, we’re talking about you) and dodgy websites (reddit, up your game) are no longer acceptable. It’s hard to tell whether good design is to blame for all the extra graphic designers in the world or vice versa. Either way, graphic designers are everywhere.
Here’s what you need to know to date one.
A FONT IS NOT THE SAME THING AS A TYPEFACE
Trust us. Typefaces are made up of fonts which are made up of glyphs which are made up of graphemes. And a ligature is the amalgamation of two or more graphemes into one glyph. Confused?
Just remember not to use font and typeface interchangeably and never, ever mention Comic Sans, let alone use it.
OKAY… SO AS LONG AS I AVOID ASKING SILLY QUESTIONS I’LL BE FINE?
Not so fast. You also need to be wary of things like greeting cards, handwritten shopping lists and birthday invitations. Moonpig cards are not acceptable, neither are pink gel pens and you’ll have to stop dotting your ‘i’s with hearts. If in doubt, keep it minimal (minimal being the industry term for simple).
ARE THEY LIKELY TO ANNOY ME AT ALL?
Only in situations where they think they could have done a better job designing their surroundings, so essentially all the time. Everything is a potential target for designer-on-designer derision: the menus in restaurants, the fonts of shop names, billboards, even street signs (which, by the way, only come in two typefaces: Transport and Motorway).
SO WHAT ARE THE BENEFITS OF DATING A GRAPHIC DESIGNER?
Graphic designers are sharp dressers who appreciate the careful balance of minimalism and good design (this may mean they take issue with that unnecessary bit on your River Island hoodie). They’ll also keep you informed of all the latest mac updates and, if you look at them pointedly enough, will install these upgrades for you. They might even take you on a trip to design mecca Berlin. Just don’t bring the Hawaiian-print suitcase you’ve had since you went on that family holiday to Lanzarote.
MAXIMUM BLUFFING VALUE
If you want to impress your date then make sure the first time they come round to your 
flat/house/studio loft/canal boat you leave a Pantone colour guide lying on the coffee table. These standardised colour charts (which look a lot like the Dulex paint sample books but are, of course, far superior) are highly coveted by graphic designers, mostly because they’re so expensive. So if you’re not willing to pay through the nose for your bluff then
strike up a conversation about how often people ask to borrow your Pantone book and ‘forget’ to return it.
DO SAY ‘I think I prefer sans serif, actually.’
DON’T SAY ‘It’s just a menu, it doesn’t matter what it looks like as long as it lists what they serve!’
