The world of dating is fraught with peril and confusion. Is all fair in love and war? Is chivalry dead? Can you really up and leave halfway through a date without appearing 
rude? But fear not Lovestruckers! Bluffer’s is here to help guide you through the tricky world of dating etiquette.
IT’S OKAY TO BE FASHIONABLY LATE, RIGHT?
This all depends on the location of your date. If you’ve arranged to meet in a warm restaurant or a comfortable bar then being 10-15 minutes late is no great crime (your date may even appreciate being given the time to send the obligatory ‘I just got here’ text to the entirety of their phonebook). But if your plan was to meet outside London Bridge tube station on a cold Saturday evening then expect a frosty greeting.
DO I HAVE TO HOLD THE DOOR FOR HIM/HER?
There’s a simple test for this. Ask yourself this question: can they open the door by themselves? If yes, then no, you don’t have to hold the door open for your date. That said, if you happen to have walked into the restaurant just before them then don’t let the door slam shut in their face (however long they kept you waiting outside).
OKAY. AND I CAN JUST PUT MY PHONE ON SILENT, CAN’T I?
No. Haven’t you seen this chilling BuzzFeed article on the death of conversation, human connection and ultimately society? Turning your phone on silent but leaving it in your lap or, worse, on the table is one giant dating faux-pas. Put your phone in your bag or pocket and only check it at discreet intervals (ie. when your date is in the loo).
DO I HAVE TO PAY THE BILL?
No, no, no, unless you’re taking it in turns to pay the bill (but this necessitates a self-confidence in your dating prowess which may prove to be both foolhardy and expensive). ‘Going Dutch’, or splitting the bill evenly down the middle, is the norm now. But if you’re feeling generous, you can offer to pay the tip in cash.
IT WASN’T THE BEST DATE I’VE EVER HAD, HOW DO I LET THEM DOWN POLITELY?
It depends how long it’s taken you to realise that your date was a non-starter. One date in and you’re allowed to send a vague text about being busy at work. But whatever you do, don’t think you’re being kind by suggesting a second date that you have no intention of attending. Not doing so will prevent said deluded date losing face with their friends, which if you’re not going to be a big part of their life, is all they really care about. If you’re more than three dates in before you realise they prefer The Voice to The Taste then you should be straight with them: I’m just not that into you.
DO SAY ‘I love seeing who the waiter hands the card machine to…’
DON’T SAY ‘Sorry, I really have to reply to this text. It’s my friend Katy – she just sent me this GREAT emoticon of a unicorn.’
And for those of you who are already au fait with the etiquette of dating, there’s always the Bluffer’s Guide to Sex.
