Raising our glass of bubbles right back at ya, we rather merrily welcome the return of guest blogger Miss Twenty-Nine, Editor of 30 Dates
This month, Miss T-N tackles Facebook and being single and why it’s a BAD combo… 
No, this isn’t a whinge about the endless wedding photos, engagement announcements or baby photos on your News Feed. Though I can see how those things can be rather depressing when you’re unhappy with your single status. Instead, I wanted to talk about the dangers of becoming Facebook friends with someone too early in a relationship.
You know the score. You’ve been on a date or two. You’ve chatted for a few hours. You feel like you know each other well enough to go to the next level – Facebook friendship. But is that one extra ‘Friend’ really worth the Pandora’s box of relationship issues that comes with access all areas?!
These days we all live two different lives. The real life version, and an online avatar. The person represented on social media can never fully represent reality. The photos are handpicked. The statuses crafted. Very few people post their every thought and action online. The majority reserve News Feed announcements for important achievements and gloat-worthy events. Maybe they act a certain way to impress their friends. Maybe they don’t care at all. Either way, the effect is that the person represented online is only one version of the person you meet in real life.
That’s not a bad thing. And I’m not saying social media is bad. I just think it’s important to keep sites like Facebook in context, when you’re getting to know someone. And to remember what information about yourself you’re giving a date access to, if you accept him or her too early as a friend.
One of the best parts of dating, is the ability to represent to a complete stranger who you are today; and just today. We all have a past. We all have a shared history with our friends, which colours their interpretations of the things we do today. An established role which we play when we’re in certain company, which isn’t always the most accurate picture of the person we’ve become today.
The great thing about meeting a new person is that you can choose which parts of your life they learn about, and in what order. You can hand them the pieces of your own puzzle, and allow them to gradually build a picture of the most contemporary version of yourself.
But that novelty and that puzzle are things which social media can far too easily remove.
By befriending someone on Facebook, you’re potentially giving them access to the last ten years of your life. And think how much you’ve changed in that time.
By becoming a date’s friend on Facebook, you also have access to years of their life. Stories they haven’t told you yet. Pictures of people you shouldn’t yet recognise.
Do you really want to see photos of a potential partner with his ex-girlfriend? Or to over think the way he communicates with his exes? Do you want to know what his family look like, before he introduces you to them in person? And isn’t it better to hear an anecdote firsthand, rather than reading it from an old status you were never meant to read?
One of the most exciting parts of dating is the mystery and anticipation. The butterflies feeling that someone might be right for you, and the journey which follows that feeling, as you fill in more and more pieces of a personal jigsaw. 
For me, becoming Facebook friends with a potential partner too early is like cheating on the jigsaw.
And the sad thing, is that whilst it may feel that by Facebook-stalking a possible match, you’re able to learn far more about him, in reality, you won’t be really learning the most important things.
Even if you do learn about important parts of their life by snooping, when they finally chooses to share them with you in person, they will have so much less value, because you’ll already know about them … and then have to decide whether you confess to already knowing or not!
Thanks for listening!
Miss Twenty-Nine
What do you think, people?
Tell us @Lovestruck.com or @30Dates
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