Girls, do you parents think you should have hooked up with Prince William? Guys, does your mum think your girlfriend should be a better cook/prettier/have a better job?
It’s not uncommon for people to clash with their parents over their partners. My good pal Amy’s parents hated her Brazilian lover so much, mainly because they were convinced he was going to whisk her back to his homeland. My mate Jim on the other hand; his poor girlfriends never meet his mum’s long list of requirements – never mind if he is happy.
If this rings a bell, fret not – apparently it’s all about the genes. Scientists at the University of Bristol and University of Groningen have been looking for the answer to the Romeo & Juliet sagas throughout the world.
The theory says that parents and offspring want a caring and supportive partner. The conflict when parents come in to the equation is a basic one – parents want each of their kids to end up with a similar amount of money and support because they value them equally. And if a child ends up with a partner who doesn’t have as many resources, the parents feel they need to step in to compensate.
The author said: “Thus there is a conflict over resource distribution. This additional help by the parents open them up to ‘exploitation’ by the children – a child can afford to settle for a less supportive partner in the knowledge that their parents will pick up the slack.
“The result is that children will settle for a less caring partner than their parents would ideally like – hence the conflict over mate choice.”
In another study one in five parents admitted they have secretly tried to rid their children of a girlfriend or boyfriend of whom they disapprove.
Common tactics included banning them from seeing each other, stirring up arguments between them, not passing on messages and confiscating or hiding mobile phones. Some parents revealed they had listened into conversations with some even tagging along to confront their children’s partners.
One in three mothers admitted they had battled to split their child up from someone they considered “not good enough” – and succeeded. Only one in four fathers said the same thing.
One in 10 said they would “do anything they could” to split their child and their partner up, because they disliked them much. Ouch!
Do you parents approve of your partner? Did they like your ex – or go out of their way to split you up? Tell us @lovestruck
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