Lovestruckers! It’s finally Friday, the day of the week when you get to ditch your desk for a date. But, as you well know, the weekend is only so long so don’t waste your 48 hours of freedom waiting in line at an overcrowded bar or queuing for a bad burger joint. We’ve 
planned the perfect date for you.
WHERE SHOULD I TAKE THEM?
To The House of Peroni. Don’t worry, this beer-inspired venue is nothing like the Heineken museum-come-factory in Amsterdam or one of those micro-breweries where everybody’s sitting around talking earnestly about whether they’re ‘getting’ raspberry or rhubarb notes in their alarmingly tinted ales. You’re more likely to be drinking alongside well-dressed couples than stag parties, and that smell you can’t quite place is Prada perfume, not spilled beer. (For a little extra reading head here for The Bluffer’s Guide to Beer.)
WAIT, WHAT?
The House of Peroni is a bar/restaurant/art space/cinema located just up the road from Oxford Circus. What unites the house and all of its goings-on? Peroni Nastro Azzurro of course! Or more broadly, Italian exports of all sorts, but mainly film and fashion and absurdly stylish men with names like Fabio and Fabrizio. This is the second incarnation of the mega-impressive marketing ploy on Portland Place and, if possible, House of Peroni Mark 2 is even more instagram-ready than its predecessor. #TheHouseofPeroni
WHERE IS IT?
41 Portland Place, W1, London. This is a 10 minute walk from either Oxford Street or Great Portland Street. So that’s the Bakerloo, Central, Victoria, Hammersmith & City, Metropolitan and Circle lines covered. Not that anyone in their right mind uses the Circle line.
HOW MUCH?
It won’t feel like it when you walk through the imposing doorway, but entry into the house is free, as are almost all of the cinema screenings (though seating is limited). Alas, despite being open from 12pm-11pm, the bar is not an ‘open bar’ so bring your credit card. This makes financial sense for Peroni though, sorry to burst your fantasy bubble but imagine how difficult it must have been for Willy Wonka’s accountant to make ends meet. That said, the food and drink is no less fantastical for being a little expensive. Look out for Michelin starred chefs the Costardi Brothers and highly lauded mixologist Gerry Calabrese.
WHAT ELSE IS NEAR BY?
Ah, that’s the catch: not much else, except Marylebone, Fitzrovia, Regent’s Park, and most of Central London. Good thing the bar stays open till 11pm.
MAXIMUM BLUFFING VALUE
As you’re giving your date a tour of the house don’t forget that this is very much Peroni’s house, not yours; pretending that the painting on the wall is of your great-grandmother or that you used to run through these echoing halls as a toddler is not going to work with anyone. Instead point out the sculpture by Pietro D’Angelo on the first floor, made entirely from stainless steel paper clips. A perfect waste of office supplies.
DO SAY ‘If Peroni did houses…’
DON’T ASK ‘Could you afford a place like this? How much did you say you earned again?’
