If you feel getting your new partner to talk about their feelings is rather like getting blood from a stone, then you are probably dating an ’emotionally unavailable’ type. Sigh! We’ve all been there; from the stilted conversations, to the lack of connection and constant excuses, here are the top 10 signs to look out for:
1. They don’t talk
They might like talking about their favourite TV shows, sport or mutual friends but the emotionally unavailable fail to discuss anything that involves his or her emotions. They might shut off, refuse to discuss something or even move on and pretend they never heard you. Proceed with caution!
2. They don’t show up for you
So you have a work party, new promotion to celebrate, or an important family event but there is no sign of your new partner. If someone really cares about you, then they will show up. End of.
3. They have addictions
By being addicted to something, be it sport, work or anything else, your partner will just create distance between you and them.
4. They discuss their past
Look out for red flags in the conversation because emotionally stunted people tend to linger in the past so will go on about past romances a lot. If there is obviously feelings there, be it anger or annoyance, then it is likely that they are not over their ex.
5. They are serial-daters
How many people has your date has serious relationships? If they are a serial-dater, then it is likely they avoid having relationships or getting close to anyone.
6. They literally aren’t available
Are you talking to your date’s voicemail more than you are talking to them? Are your text messages just disappearing into thin air without a response? Or is their diary always up in the air and they never want to properly commit? This Houdini act can often be a result of someone not wanting to get emotionally involved.
7. It’s always about them
Is it always on your date’s terms? Where and when you meet? Who you see and what you do? Always remember that the best relationships are the balanced ones.
8. They always have an excuse
Whether it’s for their lateness, missing a birthday or being a no-show. Nothing is ever their fault. They will make promises but more often than not won’t keep them.
9. The sex is great but the affection isn’t
The physical side of your relationship might be on fire but when it comes to pillow talk or holing your hand in public they check out.
10. They are hesitant to put a label on your relationship
Sometimes people really do need time to think about what they want but if you’ve been dating a while and their Facebook status still says “It’s complicated”, it’s time to move on. Harsh but true.
Have you dated an emotionally unavailable guy or girl? Can it ever have a happy ending?
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