Can a cheater change their spots?

You have been unexpectedly and painfully cheated on. Your friends have told you he or she will never change and will just do it to you again and again. You don’t want to believe it so we hate to break it to you…but it looks like your friends might be right as now this advice has been backed up by scientific research.

A new study from across the pond has found that the old adage ‘once a cheat always a cheat’ is basically a rule of human life and people who have cheated once are three and a half times more likely to cheat again. The research also found that the victims of cheating are more likely to be cheated on again in the future.

The study looked at the past and present relationships of 484 unmarried 18-34 year olds and lead researcher psychology graduate student Kayla Knopp asked them questions such as, “Have you had sexual relations with someone other than your partner since you began seriously dating?” and “Has your partner had sexual relations with someone other than you since you seriously began dating?”

Of those who admitted to being unfaithful in their first relationship, about 45 per cent said they also had outside sexual contact with someone in their next relationship, showing they hadn’t learnt from the past. The people who suspected their partners of playing away were 10 times as likely to be more suspicious in their next relationships.

 “We can’t say for sure what this means,” Knopp told The Huffington Post, “But I think it indicates that how people are feeling about trust, fidelity, and commitment in their relationships is even more salient than what their partners are actually doing.”

She explained that more research is needed to develop interventions to help couples learn from past experiences and make better relationship choices. “In the meantime,” she added “couples can help avoid these patterns in their own lives by talking to one another about their relationship histories, and deciding which behaviours they do – and don’t – want to bring with them into the future.”

Do you agree that once a cheater, always a cheater or can they really change?

Tell us your thoughts @lovestruck