Hello Lovestruckers!
Bluffer’s are back with a definitive guide on how to date a Londoner…
People tend to get quite parochial about the place they live. But Londoners are more guilty than most of thinking that their hometown is the only conceivable place to live in the world, ever. And there are almost 8.2 million of them so the odds of running into one are pretty high (especially if you’re in London…).
BUT WHY DO LONDONERS THINK LONDON IS THE BEST CITY? 
Because this isn’t Paris, or Berlin, or Hong Kong or Torquay; it’s London: the cosmopolitan metropolis of dreams. Home to the House of Parliament, Madame Tussauds, the London Eye, ZFL (that’s the bizarre set of letters now being used to denote London Zoo)… Hold your majesty’s horses, you won’t score any points for waxing lyrical about the capital’s tourist attractions. Londoners aren’t interested in taking photos with beefeaters or buying Starbuck’s thermoses emblazoned with images of the Thames.
OKAY, WHAT SHOULD I SAY I LOVE ABOUT LONDON?
Mention your love of London’s quirky markets (Borough and Maltby Street markets are a safe bet) and buzzing drinking establishments such as Gordon’s Wine Bar or Frank’s in Peckham. London is all about the eclectic charm of its backstreets and little-known hideouts. So Exmouth Market (which is in fact a street) beats Oxford Circus (which has nothing to do with clowns) every time. Londoners are also pretty proud of their coffee, food and gin.
WHO COUNTS AS A LONDONER?
There are technically 32 London boroughs – 12 of those are inner city and the other 20 are outer city. So Croydon is a London borough, as are Barnet and Waltham Forest. But Essex is not. That said, the easiest way to tell if your date identifies themselves as a Londoner or not is to ask them… It doesn’t matter if they have to walk through a field and then get a bus to the nearest tube station which is only in zone 6 anyway; London is a state of mind. Alternatively, just ask them if they have an Oyster card. (NB. The ‘London’ airports (excepting London City airport) are not actually in London.)
SO ARE ALL LONDONERS ONE AND THE SAME?
No, no, no, no. Londoner’s might unite over the north/south divide but the rivalry between the four corners of the capital is fierce. So unless you want to be thrown outside of the M25, make sure you don’t lump east, west, north and south together.
MAXIMUM BLUFFING VALUE
If you really want to impress a Londoner, or rather if you want to let them impress you, then bring up the arrival of all night tubes. This is what every capital dwelling resident has been waiting for. The naysayers can no longer taunt Londoners with their hopeless reliance on night buses. Finally! Just don’t point out that by the time 2015 rolls around their late night drinking days might be behind them…
DON’T SAY ‘I think I’d rather live in Manpool or Liverchester.’
DON’T ASK ‘But why does everything close past midnight?’
