Hello L’struckers! Bluffers are back. How do you date an ad person? We’ll tell you…
It’s rare that you meet someone who’s willing to underplay their workload, but, in reality, most of us can use the excuse of a special occasion and slip out of work a few minutes early to grab the last table at Gordon’s Wine Bar off the Strand or, failing that, the pub round the corner. Ad people do not have this luxury. Like doctors and consultants, their hours are dictated by random and mercurial forces, otherwise known as: clients, creative and legal (‘creative’ and ‘legal’ are departments within ad agencies and are only referred to in this way, but you’d better get used to it if you’re dating an advertising type).
SO WILL THEY ALWAYS BE LATE FOR DATE?
Yes. If a client hasn’t approved something, creative hasn’t yet created it or legal hasn’t legalled it, then there’s nothing they can do but sit and wait until they do. When/if they do arrive, they’ll invariably be desperate for a drink or already a little bit drunk.
ALREADY DRUNK! YOU SAID THEY WERE WORKING LATE…
Working and drinking are interchangeable words in the advertising industry, especially if the agency has an alcohol brand on the books… Freebies are one of the few things that redeem a client in the eyes of their account managers. And if the drinks weren’t supplied by the client but were organised with the aim of entertaining one then they’ll be ‘exxed’ (claimed as expenses) before you can fish the unidentifiable rind out of your £11 gin and tonic. This might sound scandalous to you, a regular employee in a regular industry, but advertising is all about appearances. Never mind if the company hasn’t won a pitch for weeks.
A PITCH?
A pitch is what the agency presents to a potential client in the hopes of persuading them that they could sell ice to an Eskimo, tonic to Schweppes or, more accurately and less glamorously, Gingsters to Glastonbury goers. Creating a pitch requires every department in the agency to stay in the office far past any normal working day and is never, ever a guarantee of actual paid business. If your date falls within the week of a big pitch expect to hear the word ‘deck’ – a lot. Pitches almost always revolve around a ‘deck’ which is the fancy industry term for Power Point presentation (minus the dodgy dissolve-in features you remember from school Geography projects; you’d be amazed what you can do with Power Point these days…)
SO WHY DO THEY STICK IT OUT?
Didn’t we mention the freebies? It takes a while for the novelty of claiming drinks and dinner on expenses to wear off. Plus, all advertisers know that if their agency is not delivering the necessary perks they can jump ship to a rival company and earn themselves a pay rise. Although actually swapping agencies is harder than you‘d think – if ad agencies made promises, they’d be the best promises in the world…
DO SAY ‘No worries! Currently out with some friends, so let me know when you get out of work.’
DON’T SAY ‘I’ll need a reply to that text by EOD.’
