You know the sort. You’re on a first date and they reveal they’ve had 12,000 dates but have still not found anyone special. Or, maybe you’ve been dating for a bit, you start talking about the next step in the relationship and BAM! They hit the escape button.
But is deliberately remaining a love-free-zone a result of emotional issues or a choice? It can be either. Here’s how to know if you should jump ship or stay onboard…
Signs they’re commitment shy:
They may have even chased you in the beginning, everything seems hunky dory but now you’re talking about meeting family or planning your future together, they’re pulling away, making excuses, not wanting to talk about it or even asking why things can’t just stay as they are. Commitment phobe!
Men and women are often commitment phobes for different reasons:
Men:
- Wants to play the field/always thinks there might be something better out there.
- Previous relationship ended badly.
- Afraid to reveal his true self or let his emotional guard down.
- He feels pressured that you want to move the relationship to the next level. Frustrating, but some people just need more time to commit than others. It’s not always an indicator of how much they do or don’t like you, but the more you push, the more they’ll feel cornered and back away.
Women:
- Previous relationship ended badly.
- Fear of putting themselves on the line and then being rejected so they are always ready to exit the relationship first.
- Fear of a nasty break-up and any nuclear fallout.
- Reluctant to lose their independence to a guy.
The good news is that most of these points don’t write off the relationship so the next step is really down to you. These guys just need time, no pressure and the scope to move at their own pace. If you can cope with that and feel they are worth the wait, they should finally commit to you and never let you go. Frankly.
Oh, and to the guy in point 1? Good luck with that long-term…
Are you a commitment phobe? Or do you think you’re dating one? Tell us @Lovestruck
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