So, he’s left the lid of the toothpaste again, she’s been texting her ex… whatever the reason, every couple rows, but sometimes it’s the things we say during an argument that can turn a small spat into World War Three.
Easy words said in anger are very difficult to forget after.
We all have those moments when our mouth seems to be working slightly ahead of our brains, but here are the top 10 things you should try to avoid passing through those lips:
‘Here we go again’
This is normally delivered with a dramatic roll of the eyes or shake of the head and it will make your partner feel like their concerns are trivial and unimportant to you. This may not only make them angrier but will discourage them from bringing up any worries in the future.
‘You never used to be like this’
It’s a fact of life that we change and whether or not it is true that our partner used to be different, the argument is illogical. It is also likely that it your own expectations that have changed over time.
‘That’s it. You’re dumped’
However hard you try to persuade your partner that you don’t mean what you said in the heat of the moment, the damage has been done. Even if it was for a second that you wanted to be single again, it will make your partner insecure and question whether they want to be with you. It will take a long time to regain the trust that will be lost.
‘You are so like your mother’
Whether this is true or not, everyone is an individual and these words are only said to cause hurt. It will make your partner defensive and angry – and only make them want to argue more.
‘You’re such a idiot/bitch/moron’
Whatever the expletive, this is a definite sign that things have moved away from vaguely constructive discussion to an all out spat. This kind of fighting won’t make anything better. Walk away, try to calm down and resume the row again in an hour.
‘I’m not mad’
Erm, yes you are, especially if you are shouting. Again if you can’t work out why, walk away from your partner, cool off and try to work out whether it was that text message, or something else entirely that has wound you up.
‘This is your fault’
So you’ve missed the plane/motorway junction/burnt the dinner. Whatever has happened it might be your partner’s fault but ramming it home will make them upset and guilty. Focus on how you can both fix the problem instead.
Do you have any more wise words to add? Tell us @lovestruck
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