Online dating has made everything much easier when it comes to meeting new people, the majority of which are decent well mannered sorts. What isn’t so great is when a few rude and frankly bad mannered dater gets in touch – you know the ones, where your inbox needs a red flashing “idiot alert” sign. Here are a few things you can do when dealing with those less courteous than you…
1. Wait: If someone has sent you a rude, suggestive or inappropriate message, bite your tongue and do nothing. Sometimes people just want to illicit a reaction, much like childhood bullies, if you give it to them, they will just ramp it up a gear. If they get back in touch again, see point 2…
2. Block them: We all want to play nicely but if a online date keeps pestering you online and you don’t like it, many online dating sites, like Lovestruck allow you to block a member, which means they won’t be able to view your profile, contact you and your name won’t appear in results. Simples.
3. Head for the loo: It gets a wee bit more complicated when you’re in person and you suddenly realise your date isn’t what they seemed. But if you are out on a date and they say something that bothers you, excusing yourself to go for a toilet break is the best and easiest way to handle the situation. It allows you to regroup in private, take a few deep breaths and think about how to deal with whatever it was that was said, or if in fact, if you’d rather just leave.
4. Switch subjects: If the conversation heads towards territory you feel uncomfortable with or they say something you don’t like, swap the topic of conversation towards something else, like a big event in the news or the venue. See if they take the hint.
5. Address it: If you feel that you want to give them a second chance, tell your date that you felt awkward/weird/upset when they said whatever they said. Focus on the fact you want to clear the air and have a good time. By giving them a chance to respond, you are drawing up boundaries of what you feel is acceptable early on, which is very important in relationships.
Signs of rudeness so early on however, does not bode well for a happy relationship. Personally, we wouldn’t accept it so our advice? Move on and fast to the more polished and considerate dater of which there are many!
Any more pearls of wisdom to share with your fellow Lovestruckkers about dealing with rude types? Tell us @lovestruck
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