So you may have found the man or girl of your dreams (hurrah!) but if their parents are not your favourite people, Christmas can be kinda tricky. Whether you are dating, engaged or happily married, not all lovely people come with lovely parents, sadly. But before you hit the brandy and have a complete meltdown at the thought of another strained Christmas meal with the (out-laws), read our carefully compiled list of tips. And if all else fails, the brandy is always in the cupboard…
1. Adjust your expectations: Your partner’s family will not have the same traditions, beliefs and views that you or your own family does. Don’t expect to have a brilliant time, so any fun you do have is a bonus.
2. Remember that they are your partner’s family: Yes, their dad acts like chief interrogator for the FBI and their mum might be overly precious or critical but remember that they are your partner’s parents and if he or she is great, they must have had some positive influence along the way.
3. Be busy: Whether it’s a meal to celebrate on the day itself or around Christmas try to keep busy. If you are hosting, give them something to do to keep them busy (doesn’t that mountain of spouts need peeling?) and if you’re at their house, offer to lend a helping hand with the cooking and washing up.
4. Stay oblivious: If they are critical or make comments that offend you in some way, attempt to stay completely oblivious. If you snap back, you’ll just end up saying something you’ll regret and not be able to retract, so if you stay neutral, you’ll get the best response. Acknowledge what they have said by repeating it back to them then change the topic.
5. Stick to good topics: Sometimes certain families have “don’t-go-there” subjects, so if you know that certain topics tend to cause arguments, stick to more neutral ones, like upcoming holidays, TV specials and the state on the neighbour’s dog.
6. Take time out: If you’re finding it all too much to cope with, find an excuse to take a nip round the block, take a pretend phone call, or rush upstairs to inhale some chocolates for a few minutes. Then take some deep breaths and remember – it will be over soon.
7. Don’t make them take sides: When you partner and parents don’t see eye to eye, it can be hard, so rather than have a go at your other half and expect him to take sides, save your moaning for another time when you feel more calm. Then, when the next family get-together is on the horizon, bring the topic up and discuss it in a kind and compassionate way.
8. Work the room: If there are more people at your Christmas gathering, work the room and limit contact with the people you find it hardest to get on with. This will make it far easier for you to cope.
9. Kill them with kindness: One of the best things you can do is be overly nice to your in-laws despite eat you might be thinking! Be organised with pressies, smile sweetly and be polite. That way, no one can accuse you of being nothing other than the perfect guest /host and partner! Good luck!
Do you have any hilarious stories of Christmas’s past with partner’s parents? Tell us all @lovestruck
Tweet
