Bluffer’s here again. We just can’t stop putting our two cents in…probably because the dating game is one big bluff – in the beginning at least. This week we’re 
helping you bluff your way through a first date with a journalist. Because although journos (or ‘hacks’ as they prefer to call each other) may seem like effervescent and gregarious people they’re not as date-friendly as all that.
ARE ALL JOURNOS THE SAME?
No. Well, they are all out for a story and super-glued to their Google news alerts but there are multiple journalistic fields, so in that sense they’re not all the same. There are the…
TRAVEL WRITERS
The best ones will never have paid for a holiday in their lives and the slightly less high-powered ones will never have paid for a National Express journey in their lives. So if you suffer from acute attacks of jealousy then it’s a good idea to steer clear of travel talk altogether.
CELEBRITY GOSSIP PEDDLERS
The success of the evening (ie. the amount of rapt and admiring attention you can command) might be connected with celebrity gossip such as, for example, the recent trials and tribulations of the Kardashians & co. So think tactically and postpone the date if there’s a royal pregnancy on the horizon or an awards ceremony in the offing. They might actually be ‘covering’ the story. Think of it like dating a football fan: you’d never plan a date on a night when ‘their’ team is playing as this means there’s a possibility of it losing, or ‘them’ missing the game of the season. Unfortunately, there’s an even higher chance of a celebrity being arrested on a Saturday night than there is of their team losing. Journalists are always on call.
FOOD CRITICS
Vegetarians need not apply. Let them suggest the restaurant. It’s likely to be top notch and you won’t have to feel bad about letting them pay as it’ll be on the house (or they’ll at least be able to claim it on ‘exes’ – you’ll hear a lot about these). But in return for a free meal, you will have to try almost everything on the menu and endure long pauses in conversation while they judge the jus. So wear loose clothing and bring a bit of light reading material.
COLUMNISTS
Think Caitlin Moran and Grace Dent, then think how often these two are on Twitter turning the tiniest details of their days into multi-tweet tomes… Columnists are contractually obliged to spin their lives into entertaining copy so if you’re in their life for even just – or perhaps especially just – a night then expect to see yourself featured on the page within the week. This is okay if they work for a regional paper, but less okay if they’re employed by the Daily Mail Online.
MAXIMUM BLUFFING VALUE
It’s not just travel writers who benefit from the culture of freebies; all journalists are constantly getting sent presents from desperate PRs hoping for a bit of press coverage. And the higher their circulation or number of unique monthly users (aka, uniques), the bigger the parcels. So if you were the sort of child that had to be given a present to open on your sibling’s birthday (or if you’re one of the desperate PRs) then pick a new dating pool.
DO ASK: ‘So, when are you hoping to win your first Pulitzer?’
DON’T SAY: ‘Oh yes, I’ve picked up your rag before, but I can never seem to find anything in there worth reading.’
