Was one of your New Year’s Resolutions to meet someone new? Are you nervous about joining an online dating site – or are you a member of a dating site but still have your 
reservations about the people on it – or the chances of meeting your soul-mate?
We look at people’s top reservations about online dating and talk to industry insiders about them:
MYTH: People who online date lie about their personal information
TRUTH: People do tend to embellish the truth, but not lie, says dating coach and psychologist Jo Hemmings (www.johemmings.co.uk).
“I think people often try and present themselves the best way they can and if this means a slight massaging of truths around age, height and interests, then I wouldn’t call that lying,” she says. “It’s like doing your CV and bigging yourself up a bit.”
Lovestruck founder Brett Harding agrees, revealing that men tend to bend the truth when it comes to height and women do it around body shape.
“People embellish the truth,” he adds. “I have made myself believe I am 6ft 1’’, even though I am just over 6ft. I’ve told myself so many times, that I believe it! However when it comes to things like jobs, our members can’t promote themselves because of our LinkedIn verification.”
MYTH: Online dating doesn’t work
TRUTH: We all know people who have met their partner online, so this is a very antiquated view of online dating.
“This idea is clearly rubbish,” Jo says. “Recent research has shown that in a few years, 50 per cent of people will meet their partners online. It wouldn’t be such an enormous industry if it didn’t work.”
Brett adds that online dating is “fast becoming the number one way to meet people.”
“It was number five a few years ago and now it is the second most popular way of meeting your partner,” he says. “An American study recently found that 35 per cent of couples married in the US between 2005 and 2012 met online and we are following suit.”
MYTH: Most men on online dating sites cheat
TRUTH: “There is always going to be a certain proportion of that,” Brett says. “It’s probably the same as walking into a bar; not everyone there will be single. Being online makes it simpler because you can hide behind a comfortable kaftan of anonymity. That’s why we have Facebook verification because it will show if you’re single or married.”
Jo says that if you are considering online dating this isn’t something to worry about.
“In any aspect of life you are going to get people who abuse the system but you can’t go into online dating worrying about it because it is rare.”
MYTH: Online dating isn’t safe
TRUTH: “That’s always going to one of the problems but paid websites take enough information about people to make sure they are who they say they are,” Jo explains. “The only way to be completely safe when it comes to dating is to not date at all. It’s no less safer than meeting someone at a bar.”
Brett adds that this is always the case and in fact being “intoxicated in a bar” is far less safe. Make sure you always follow general safety tips to follow.
“The more verified you are the easier it makes it for someone to date you,” Brett concludes. “We can check people are bona-fide through social media.”
MYTH: Online dating is for losers
TRUTH: Both our experts think this is myth is farcical.
“A decade ago then people might have claimed that,” Jo reveals. “People need to ask themselves if they know anyone who hasn’t formed a lasting relationship online. I doubt there’s anyone out there who can say no. It is grotesquely untrue and put out there by people who have never dated online.”
MYTH: Online dating is too expensive
TRUTH: Both Jo and Brett argue that dating online is far better value than going to a bar 
hoping you will meet someone.
“If you compare it to a night out, including your drinks and transport, it is pretty good value on most sites,” Jo says. “Look at what you’re getting for your money. Comparatively it is much better value. Of course, you have you use it properly. If you drift on there and wait for something to happen, it may not seem like good value so if you spend your money you need to use it effectively.”
Brett argues that people should question how much they would spend to find the love of their love. Also another good reason to joining a site, where they need to pay, is it creates a “sincerity filter”.
“If you go on a free site, there will people on there who waste your time,” he explains. “To save time, if you spend a little bit of money, you’ve got a better chance of going on a date with someone and you’ll have less time-wasters.”
MYTH: There are more women than men on online dating sites
TRUTH: It varies massively on different sites but actually the truth it the opposite of this.
“The average dating site is 60 per cent men, 40 per cent women,” Brett comments. “There are a few exceptions to the rule but we are very balanced. Lovestruck has about 53 per cent male and 47 per cent female. So that idea couldn’t be further from the truth.”
MYTH: It’s all talk, no action
TRUTH: This is not just a problem when dating online, Jo says.
“You could say that about any relationship; you need to direct your dating life in the right way and take actions into your own hands,” she explains. “Take your relationships in the direction you want them to go. If you want to meet someone, ask them out on a date, rather than waiting for them to ask you.”
Again the pay filter is important here, Brett explains.
“We have a lot of evidence that if you pay, it is far easier to meet someone, whereas on free sites it is like pulling teeth and people cancel all the time.”
MYTH: All that matters online is looks
TRUTH: Neither of our experts thinks this is a myth, at least initially.
“I don’t think that’s a myth,” Jo says. “People’s pictures are very important. It is much 
harder for less attractive people to get dates, there is no doubt about it.”
Brett adds: “Initially this is the most important thing. You are being judged purely on your photo and if someone’s interest is peaked they will look at the supporting information.”
MYTH: Everyone is pickier online because they have so many options
TRUTH: Again, there is an element of truth in this myth because online dating has provided choice, so it makes it easier for people to move on, says Brett.
“In some cases there might be too much choice, so people sometimes develop a ‘grass is always greener’ attitude, whereas ten or 20 years ago when you met someone then you would stick. It is far easier to meet people and I think this has altered the balance in favour of men.”
Do you agree with our experts? Tell us @lovestruck
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