Guide to Dating a Dryathlete

Happy 2014 Lovestruckers! Bluffer’s are back for 2014!
It’s officially January, the month when many of us sign away our souls (and our social lives) to the gym and generally just up our fitness game. And this year Cancer Research is Dryathleteencouraging people to give up drinking as well; they’ve even trademarked the word Dryathlon (and Dryathlete).

WAIT, WHAT’S A DRYATHLETE?

A Dryathlete is a registered participant of Cancer Research’s ‘dry’ January campaign. And Dryathletes compete in the Dryathlon by not drinking alcohol for money. Easy, right? Once registered, Dryathletes are set up with a JustGiving page and sent a pack containing motivational training tools including posters, a wristband, and even beermats so you have something to rest your glass of non-alcoholic Shloer on. (Don’t say you’ve never heard of Shloer. The grape-based ‘Grown-Up Soft Drink’?)

SO HOW CAN I HELP MY DRYATHLETE?

Well, ideally you would also sign up to become a Dryathlete in a show of solidarity or sympathy. But if you think this is a New Year resolution too far then the best thing you can do is not make a show of your glass of Chablis or cold beer after a hard day’s work. Pointing out the benefits of not drinking is also a great way to encourage your newly dry date. Finding the right words shouldn’t be too difficult because alcohol is expensive, calorific (see Maximum Bluffing Value below) and more often than not completely ruins even the best laid weekend plans. In fact, dating a Dryathlete might be the most fun you’ve ever had.

REALLY? ARE YOU SURE IT WON’T BE BORING?

Although alcohol is a great ice breaker on a first date, if you still need a need a drink to find your date remotely interesting after the third or fourth date then they’re probably not ‘the not-drinking-tonightone’. But if you do opt for a glass of wine when they’re on the mineral water just remember that every poorly told anecdote and slightly slurred punch line will be seen (and judged) through the eyes of a coolly analytic stone cold sober person. At least they can drive you home afterwards.

MAXIMUM BLUFFING VALUE

Here are some chilling statistics to impress your date with and terrify yourself with. If you normally drink 15 pints a week (that’s one a day plus a few extra on Friday and Saturday nights) then in a just a month you’d save £199 and 15,943 calories. And if you drink 15 glasses of wine a week (let’s be honest, it’s not that difficult to drink a whole bottle on just a Monday) you’d save £266 and 21,257 calories.

DO SAY ‘No, of course I don’t mind going to restaurant without a liquor licence…’

DON’T ASK ‘Why are you doing Dryathlon? Is it like an AA thing?’

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