The split may have been messy and painful and often it is a VERY.BAD.IDEA to even consider trying to reconcile but we all know couples who have split up, got back together again and lived happily ever after.
Recent research showed that more than a third of co-habiting and married couples have split up at some point in the past, so if you have split up but are considering getting back together with your ex, not all is lost.
So, with that in mind, we’ve drawn up some tips for turning your ex into your significant other once again:
Are you friends?: Good romances are rooted in friendship, where respect and trust are at the core. There will be feelings there about the split and you will need to get past these to give your relationship a decent chance. Before making a decision, hang out as friends for a while – go for a meal, see a film or have an afternoon together. This will give you a chance to see if you are still too upset and hurt about what happened – or if you are ready to move on.
Be honest with yourself: What was the reason for the split in the first place? Before you even consider thinking about getting back with your ex make sure you know why you are doing it. It is easy to look back with rose-tinted glasses on an old relationship and think you miss the person in question. But do you miss them or do you miss being in a relationship? These are two very different things. Could you see yourself with them in ten years time? Or are you just settling?
Lay your cards on the table: You will need to lay everything out on the table and discuss at length why it went wrong the first time. Did you argue all the time? If this is the case, you will need to identify the source of the arguments and try to work on overcoming them. Be clear with each other about what you want from the relationship and what behavior you’re not willing to accept. If you are both clear about it, there is no reason for the romance to fail the second time over.
Take it steady: It would be very easy to jump straight back into how things were before (your toothbrush after all, will probably still be at their house). However, try to view the relationship as if you’ve just met, rather than picking up where you left before. Make an effort to get to know each other all over again and start things afresh.
Be prepared to walk away: While it’s great you’re thinking about giving it another go, you have to be prepared for it to go wrong again. It will be harder this time round and the deeper you get into something, the harder it might be to let go. Of course you hope it will work but you also have to be aware that in the long term, some things just aren’t meant to be.
Have you rekindled an old romance? Did it work? Tell us @lovestruck
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