It doesn’t matter how hot you are, if you guys don’t refine those dating skills you’re likely to fall flat on your face at the first date hurdle!
If you want to get to date two, sweat the small stuff cos it actually matters to her and avoid the top 7 dating mistakes guys often make:
1. Take control: You might think you’re being the perfect ‘modern’ man by letting her choose and arrange that first date. Sure she’ll agree to organising it if you let her, it’s what women do, but don’t let her. Take control and insist you’re happy to plan that first date. You’ll appear assertive, manly and a little like you’re making an effort…
2. Pay attention: From the outset. You’ve hopefully au fait with the her profile details, hobbies, likes and dislikes so don’t be taking her to a steak house if she’s a vegetarian or to the zoo is she’s an animal rights campaigner. If you’re not sure, it’s thoughtful to ask as it suggests you’re interested in what she would like to do rather than just choosing a date that suits you.
3. Ditch the digital: You’re trying to find the love of your life for God’s sake so give her you undivided attention! Shut down the digital distractions, no beeps or pings and nope, not even a vibrate. The world will not end. Oh, and even if you’re not feeling the chemistry, still stay away from the smart phone, it’s plain rude. Frankly.
4. Zip it .com: Well at least for 40% of the date. OK, there are many reasons we can find ourselves over-talking on a date: nerves, excitement, trying to impress her with your worldly knowledge or maybe she’s quiet or shy so you’re verbally poly-filling the awkward gaps in conversation. Read the signs. Are her eyes glazing over? How long since she last moved her lips? Ask her questions, not Jeremy Paxman style, but think what you’d like to learn about her and tailor questions accordingly.
5. Ex factor: Sometimes on a date we end up talking about a previous relationship and sometimes a date will even ask about it. Sneaky huh? Checking what an ex might not have liked about you or gleaning information on how you treated them. In many cases, relationships end badly or they wouldn’t end, but if you’re going to rake up the coals of an old flame, keep any conversations positive no matter how hurt or hateful you may still feel. Talk too long about it and you risk sounding like you’re not over your ex or worse, could make yourself sound bitter…and twisted..and a little bit scary. Yep we know it wasn’t your fault..
6. Cheque please? Got to love the modern woman, paying her way along side us blokes. And look. There she is, whipping out her purse on a first date offering to pay and there’s you thinking you’re probably into your overdraft so wouldn’t it be nice if she…STOP! It’s a trap! Kidding. Here’s the thing. Centuries of chivalry does not die hard. She might appear willing but could then leave the date thinking you’re actually tight. Flash the plastic guys, it avoids any post date bad feeling. Just suggest she gets the next one…
7. Post date etiquette: Hopefully, if you follow these tips, you’ll get to date two – happy days. But if you didn’t feel the chemistry, don’t be a complete jerk by ‘ghosting’ her, aka avoiding her calls or messages. How would you like a guy to do that to your sister or future daughter? In this fast-paced digital world, it’s easy to forget people still have real emotions and feelings so man up. Get in first and simply say you had a great time but didn’t think you were romantically compatible. It’s the decent thing to do. Let no one accuse you of being heartless.
Got any other winning first date tips? Tell us @lovestruck
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